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the dance of life || an original poem
I’m not much of an author, in interest at least. Ironic, considering that I write a blog. I do, however, have a penchant for writing poems. When my emotions are strongest, when I have things to process mentally, poetry is one of my first responses. Some are short, some are long. I collect them all in a purple-and-navy geometric notebook, written in pencil, surprisingly neat considering my usual messy handwriting style, and the haste that I write them with.
All that rambling aside, I decided to post one of my newer poems, called the dance of life. My grandfather passed away last July, and this winter I was pondering all the things I’ve lost, the people who I’ve seen leave or pass away. Yet, there is always more. There is new life, even in the most decayed, broken places. I believe God works through all things, even our most difficult seasons of loss. Now, for the poem:
the dance of life
As my childhood fades into the past
I stand on the brink of growing up.
Holding my breath.
Making this moment linger on.
I look back, and the memories
come toward me, relentlessly, endlessly.
Calling me,
but I hold back.
I see darkness.
Death, everywhere, decay.
The dirge continues, unending.
I see the casket of my friend,
the boy who died far too young.
His father’s head bowed in silent lament
as he mourns on the pew by the stained glass window.
I hear the man as he breaks his mother’s heart,
and I watch as she writes letters in anguish
pleading him to return.
I look up to the daughter longing for her father,
only to be abandoned time and again,
a silent rejection of his own flesh and blood.
I see an old man in a sterile white room,
struggling for breath as I hold his ashen hand,
a battle for life that he cannot win.
But above it all,
I see light.
Life, peeking through the decay, growth.
I see my playmate and I in my backyard,
conquering life with exuberant imagination,
defeating armies of yore with pool-noodle swords.
I hear my brother, as he laughs again.
Family rebuilt, siblings restored.
Not yet home, but his journey begun.
I look up to my mother,
watching her bravery as she meets her father,
past hurts reconciled, hope renewed.
I see my poppa, throwing stale bread as we feed the ducks,
his hearty laughter echoing through the dewy yard.
Last memories forming, of him and I.
Above it all, I see;
the light cannot be shut out,
cannot be hidden by the blackest of evil.
Life’s dance continues
and it calls me, forward, onward,
past the darkness.
The dance fills me, defines me, makes me who I am.
Life dies, but death cannot live.
I live in a world of light.
Of thriving, soaring hope.
Of growth and miracles.
Even in death, life’s unending dance cannot be stopped.
I do not live in a world of death.
I live in a world of life.
I’d like to leave you with these thoughts from Ecclesiastes 3:1-4:
1For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance. -
My Month In Review: April || Bok Choi, Selfies and Food!
Hey everyone, happy last day of April! I had a great month- I’ll try not to make this too long of a post haha. Call it overcompensating for a long time of not posting XD. I hope yoSo, what happened in my life?
- My brother & wife (+ their two kids and dog) came to visit for Easter, and my oldest sister & husband (+ their four kids) came as well. We had a great weekend together- we went to a playground, took family pictures, etc.
- We visited my mom’s friend and her family. Her friend (Heather) is also our science teacher, and we dissected a crayfish, a cow eye and a fetal pig for biology. It wasn’t actually as gross as it sounds lol.
- I got a job! I started working at a local farm market/cafe called Shores Sisters, and I love it.
- My parents, Anna and I went kayaking- it was a beautiful day!
- Mom, Anna and I visited my grandparents, and we had a nice visit. We went to visit an old steel mill, and also a museum about industrial history.
Bok Choi soup from a tiny Vietnamese place at an outdoor market! 
Aww, look at the sweet little kids! I really like this picture- everyone looks so happy and isn’t blinking lol. 
Siblings- gotta love ‘em. 
An affogatto- so good. 
Violet jelly that I made- a post about that is in the near future! 
Me and my bro cooking lunch!
My nephew and I were playing by the creek while Nathaniel was fishing. 
Look at all those people! 
Nathaniel and T. fishing together 💜 
Ayyyy my adorable nephew C. – he’s so sweet. He was climbing on top of an egg chair at the playground, and stuck his head over to say BOO! 
My grandparents, Mom, Anna and me! 
This is the abandoned steel mill. 
Anna and I at the steel mill. 
Sisters 💜 Favorites from this month:
Books:
- Adorning the Dark by Andrew Peterson- fabulous book for artists, authors, poets: anyone who loves creating for the glory of God!
- Folks, This Ain’t Normal by Joel Salatin- a book by a down-to-earth sustainable farmer with a lot of things to say. If you eat food, you should read this book. I like his informative and captivating writing style- it’s a great book to get some new perspective. Even as a farmers daughter, I learned a lot about food.
- Behold Your Queen by Gladys Malvern. It’s an older fiction book about Queen Esther, written for middle schoolers, but Anna and I both really liked it.
Songs:
- Roots by Blessing Offor. I have been discovering a lot of Blessing Offor’s music this month, and I am loving every bit of it! My Tribe and Puzzle Pieces are fantastic.
- Happy Dance by MercyMe. It’s so upbeat!
- Breakfast by the Newsboys- old but gold! Sad and awesome at the same time, and just remember: they don’t serve breakfast in hell!
Podcasts:
- The Unfolding. It’s a Christian podcast where the host talks with many different Christian singers, authors, etc. I like the format, where basically the artists tell their life story, and tell how God has worked in their life. Some recommendations to start with: Blessing Offor, Courtney Smallbone and Steven Curtis Chapman.
Blog Posts:
- Modest and Trendy Swimsuits on the braided vine, written by Mayim!
- We Dare You To Blog competition– hosted by Maggie and Corrie. I don’t think I’ll enter, but it looks fun!
- Anne Of Green Gables Birthday Party– written by Annabelle at Rays of Marigolds. It looks like such a fun party!
Wow! Props to you if you’re still reading- that was a long one. How was your April? What exciting (or boring) things are you dying to tell someone? Got a joke? Comment? Question? I’d love to hear it- Let’s chat in the comments!
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100 FOLLOWERS! Inspo + Pura Vida Giveaway! (Repost!)
I’ve been following Mayim’s blog for awhile now, and she has an awesome blog called the braided vine. She recently hit 300 subscribers on her blog and Pinterest (woot-woot!) and she is having a giveaway. Follow the link below to check it out. Congrats on the milestone, Mayim!
Oh My Goodness Gracious!!! The blog has reached 100 followers!! WOW. When I started this blog, I wanted it to reach 100+, but thought it would take …
100 FOLLOWERS! Inspo + Pura Vida Giveaway! -
My Name Is Betsy Jane
What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?
My name is Betsy Jane.
Betsy is “daughter,” or “worshipper of God.”
Jane is “God is gracious,”
“Yahweh is merciful.”
The first; Hebrew.
Bethia.
The second; English, French, Hebrew.
Jane, Jehanne, Yochanan.
The rhythm flows on my lips.
The day I was born,
A warm autumn day,
They placed me in my father’s arms,
He named me Betsy.
Betsy Jane.
Names are like a river
Flowing, changing through the passage of time.
Jane, Jehanne, Yochanan.
Fufilling its meaning,
A worshipping daughter
of the gracious Yaweh.
I think of those who have lived before me.
With me.
Those yet to come.
We share this in common,
Those named Betsy.
History continues,
The river flows on.
With Betsy Jane.
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The Once Upon A Time Book Tag
It’s been awhile since I’ve done any blog tags, and this seems like the perfect one to start back with. I first saw it on Rebekah’s blog, and she left an open nomination. (The list of prompts is on this post as well.
Cinderella—a book that changed your life
•The Bible. I can’t think of any other books that have hugely impacted me.
Sleeping Beauty—a book that took you forever to finish
•20,000 Leagues Under The Sea by Jules Verne. I had to read it for school, and I wasn’t a huge fan. I got more into it as the book progressed though. It took about 3 weeks to read- usually, I find a book and read it straight through whether I like it or not, so I can move on to the next book.
A Thousand and One Nights—a book you couldn’t stop reading
•Crickets Don’t Cry by Charles Martin. It was a bittersweet tale, filled with heart and hope. The little girl, Annie, was so sweet and filled with life even though she was facing serious health problems. I loved the emotional depth of the story.
Little Red Riding Hood—a book you recently read in an unfamiliar genre
•The Half-Stitched Amish Quilting Club by Wanda Brunstetter. The Amish genre isn’t something I’m a huge fan of, by my sister read it recently and raved about how good it was, so I read it. It was about what I expected, decent but nothing earthshattering.
The Wild Swans—a book with your favorite sibling relationships
•Rilla of Ingleside by L. M. Montgomery. Anne’s six children have a delightful camaraderie, and I love the relationship between Rilla and Walter, especially. As Rilla grows and matures, they grow closer. It’s overall a bittersweet tale with a tragic middle and a joyous end.
Snow White—a book filled with beautiful prose
•Winnie The Pooh by A. A. Milne. This book is so sweet and beautiful, and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Rapunzel – a book you procrastinated on reading after buying
•Finding Quiet by Jamie Grace. Wait, let me explain! I bought it while we were in Florida and saved it until the car ride home a few days later. I really wanted to read it though! I don’t buy books a lot, and I only get books from the library that I want to read.
(Ooh, a book I’ve procrastinated on buying is Behind the Lights: The Extraordinary Story of a Mum and Her Family by Helen Smallbone. I really want to read it, I’m just to cheap to buy it. I’m going to look for it at the library though!)
The Little Mermaid – a book that took you on a magical journey
•The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. This is another of my favorite books- EVER! It is so sweet and sad, and I love the mystical, mysterious aspects of it.
The Frog Prince – a book you’d like to turn into a frog because you hated it so much
•Green by Tedd Dekker. Still, the judgement sounds a little harsh. I’m not into the horror/sci-fi/fantasy/thriller/Christian genre of ALL the things smashed together.
Peter Pan – a book that reminds you of your childhood
•Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel. We read this book a lot when I was little, and I always loved the happy ending! I never could figure out why nobody planned a way for her to get out of the basement though…
The Goose Girl – a book that you had low expectations for, but ended up loving
The Dead Don’t Dance and Maggie by Charles Martin (combined in one book as Down Where My Love Lies). I was expecting a cheesy sort of novel, and a boring/predictable plot line. It wasn’t either of those- much to my delight. It was a deep love story of a love that never gives up hope, and never stops believing. Trust me, you’ll cry.
Hansel and Gretel – a book that made you hungry
•Six-Dinner Sid by Inga Moore. It’s not about humans eating, but the cat is eating every other page, so it really does make one contemplate food. It is a kid’s book, but an adorable one about a genius cat.
And that’s that! Thanks for leaving an open nomination, Rebekah! I also leave an open nomination for anyone who loves answering questions, doing blog tags and reading books!
Have you read any of these books? What books should I find to read next?
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hands to help, heart to God
Recently, my dad, sister anna, and I had an opportunity to go on a week-long mission trip to Arcadia, Florida with some other people from our church. We went as a part of the Mennonite Disaster Service, which helps to rebuild communities after they have been ravaged by natural disasters. The community of Arcadia was hit by Hurricane Ian last year, and there was a lot of work to be done. I wrote down a daily journal of sorts of the things we did.
Sunday: We arrived around 12:30 because we hadn’t stopped for dinner or breakfast. We went to Cracker Barrel with Wilmer and Lorraine, where I bought a leopard print baseball hat for roofing since I forgot to bring one. Then, we went to the beach in Venice, FL, which was beautiful! The water was a gorgeous aqua and felt wonderful after a long car ride. I found a few shells, too. We met most of the long-term leaders. Ray and Martha were the head honchos. Ray was in charge of assignments and general leadership of the teams, and Martha kept track of the finances and expenditures of MDS. Martha was fun, and I played a bunch of games with her. J. Ray and Mim were also nice. J. Ray transported materials, shuttled people and supplies as needed, and ran general errands between the groups. Mim was really nice, although I don’t know what her official job was. Steve and Kathy were the cooks- and good ones, too! Kathy was nice and had lots of good food for all the hungry workers. Steve was funny- and he really liked playing games. Wilmer and Lorraine were also there and were project leaders. Merlyn, a Canadian guy, was the leader of the roofing team I was on. He was a good leader and kept things running smoothly on the roof.
Monday: Merlyn, Susan, Daddy, Carl, Max, Lawrence, and I put a roof on. The first few rows of shingles on one side were done, but the rest we did, including the ridge cap and vent. That took all day, and we had some problems with the ridge caps being cut wrong, but we managed to finish. I carried shingles and lined them up for the people with nailers, usually Susan and/or Max, banged in nails, swept off the roof, fetched tools from the other end, and generally tried to be helpful. I didn’t do a lot of nailing, since there were only 2 nailers, and Susan liked doing it and the guys needed the other one to do the ends. I did do some though, but I was pretty slow at it. It was kinda fun though, but I’d rather be a gopher. I also moved around shingles, (did you know that a bundle weighs 70 pounds?) and generally tried to be more useful than a nuisance. I did really enjoy roofing, and despite my fried shoulders, I’d still pick that over something inside. That project was a good crash course in roofing because a.) daddy was there and explained stuff to me and told me how to help, like lining up shingles, sweeping off the crumbs, etc, b.) it wasn’t very steep, and the ladder felt quite safe, c.) there weren’t many vents/pipes, so we could just run 3-5 rows across without a problem; it felt very efficient! and d.) there were lots of people who knew what they were doing, and also Susan was on that crew. I talked with Susan a bunch during our breaks, and it was interesting to get to know her. She’s the 4th-youngest of 10 kids and has 10 nieces and nephews. We were talking about our nieces and nephews, and she said that her 2-year-old nephew was having a kidney transplant- on that day! It went well though, and he was doing well last I heard. I got sunburnt because I wasn’t wearing sunscreen. it was a farmer’s tan on Monday, but after that, I rolled up my sleeves and applied liberal sunscreen to prevent it from getting fried. Despite my best efforts, I still ended up with absolutely roasted upper arms. My lower arms already started fading to tan, but the test is going to be sensitive and sore for a few more days yet. I’m happy I got a hat because I would’ve roasted my face too. It also kept my hair out of my face, which was practical and helpful. The leopard print kinda grew on me as the week went on. I slept well though, my mattress was decently comfortable. I got the top bunk, which made me happy! There was just Charity, anna, and Becky in my room, and that was nice. Towards the end of the week, I started waking up at exactly 5:39, mostly because of the exceedingly annoying crickets in the lounge area. I played 5 Crowns with Martha and a bunch of other people, which was fun!
Tuesday: Our group changed a little bit, but then stayed the same the rest of the week. There was Merlyn, Susan, Kaitlyn, me, Max, and Joel. We started a house in the morning and worked until it was in progress. It was larger than the roof yesterday, but it was just flattish and straightforward. We got it to about 2/3 done on each side so that it was ready for the inspector to see it in progress and approve it. After a quick stop for ice cream, which was delicious, we went to a house on Lee St. to start shingling. We ran out of shingles, but we got a decent amount started on one side, and finished the other. There were cacti by the road, and Kaitlyn pulled one for Susan. I picked one too, a double one attached to the mother plant, and good roots. I named it Trent and Mandy, wrapped them in moist paper towels, and put them in my polka-dotty ice cream cup. This is the day when I took pictures, but I didn’t get a lot of good ones. There were orange trees by two of the houses we worked at, and I thought that it was cool that oranges just randomly grow in backyards. After showers, we had dinner. The food was delicious all week- we had breakfast burritos, fruit and yogurt, breakfast pizza, eggs, biscuits and gravy, grits, and juice- lots of good stuff for breakfast! I personally liked the pizza and biscuits the best. She used self-rising flour, buttermilk, and grated butter to make the biscuits, and they were the best biscuits I’ve ever eaten! For lunch, we packed a variety of things. My standard was a turkey and provolone sandwich on whole wheat bread with a bit of mayonnaise, a fruit cup of peaches, orange and yellow pepper slices, a blue Gatorade zero (or two), and a baggie of trail mix with raisins, chocolate chips, macadamias, and cashews. I drank so much water- at least 5 waters and 1 Gatorade a day. And yet I still felt slightly dehydrated- roofing in the full son really takes the energy out of you. For dinners, we had pot roast and baked potatoes, lasagna, sloppy joes (which were SO good!), salads, veggies, etc. Everything was delicious. And of course, we had dessert too. She made blackberry cobbler, apple pie slabs, ice cream, and all sorts of delicious goodies. I played marble chase with Max, Wilmer, J. Ray, and two other people who I forget- which was fun because there were 6 people. It’s a great game!
Wednesday: We did roll on roofing, on the house on Lee St. and that was not fun. The tar got everywhere, and it was a hot, sticky mess. We had to wait until the underlayment dried, so we worked on the main roof for a while, until we ran out of shingles. We finished about 3/4 of the roll on roofing and made a bit of progress in the shingles, but we only had one nailer. I ruined my jeans and shirt (which I did expect because they were covered with tar. We had to wash off our tools and hands with gas to get the tar off, and it smelled so bad. Susan and Kaitlyn talked to the lady who owned the house, her name was Rosa Jane, and she wanted a Bible. We got one for her on Friday, and we all signed it. After dinner, I played Marble Chase with Mim, Wilmer, and daddy. Mim and I won twice- we were really on a roll! I also worked on a cat puzzle a little bit with Charity, Steve, Anna, and Lorraine. Puzzles were going on all week- it’s a surprisingly relaxing activity! Most were 500 pieces, there was a cat one, a candy shop one, a Saturday Evening Post one, and then they started a 1,000 piece on Thursday night. That one was the hardest because here shapes were really strangely shaped, and there weren’t a lot of unique colors to get started with. The shower trailer had 4 showers, and that’s not a lot for 28 people! There was always a line, and you had to be quick if you wanted to get a shower or get dressed after work or before breakfast.
Thursday: We finished the first roof on Tuesday because the inspector had approved it. We finished the ridge, which went pretty fast because the caps were cut right. Kaitlyn and I had cut them, and I got a nasty blister from the shears. After a nice leisurely lunch in her carport (she had two fans going and chairs for everyone) and Kaitlyn and Susan having a mini water fight, we moved on to the next house. It took all of 20 minutes to finish that project because it only needed ridge caps for about 10 feet of roof (the previous crew ran out of materials). I didn’t really help with that, I mostly rolled up the air compressor hoses, because we had gotten them out and not needed them. Then we talked to the lady, who was sweet and friendly. She’s lived in Florida since 1979, and she said that Hurricane Ian was the worst they’ve had in a long time. She had some lovely flowers by her door, orchids, and something else, but I forget. One of the orchids was her daughter, who died during COVID. It sounds like she’s probably had a rough couple of years, but she was really positive about it. She was talking about how every time she walks outside, she wants to enjoy it, because there is no guarantee of tomorrow, and she wants to enjoy life while God gives her breath. It sounds kinda cliche, but I think she was genuinely doing her best to enjoy what God gives her, and trying to see His plan even in challenging times. We had a nice chat with her, and it was nice because we didn’t see any of the other homeowners (even though they’re supposed to watch the roofers- they have to sign a paper for the inspection that says that the roofers did it right.) and it was nice to see someone. She was really happy that we finished her roof. Finally, we went to a mobile home and finished the roof on that. We worked there all afternoon and finished the roof. There were a lot of vents and pipes, so it took longer than usual to get going with several runs of shingles straight across. The shingles were sandy, too. Up until then, they had been rocky, but these ones dropped grit and sand when you pulled them out. It keeps getting in my boots, rubbing on my ankles, and sticking to my sunscreen and sweat. Gross! Our crew worked really well together, and I enjoyed working with them. They were all fairly chatty, chill, and generally nice. I liked getting to know Susan and Kaitlyn, although I was surprised when they told me how old they were (18 and 19, respectively). Charity was too- they looked a lot younger, maybe 15 or 16. They came down from Lancaster, and their group played volleyball every night. They often played until 1030 or 1100- even though bedtime was at 10! Anna and I played Wizard with Martha, Becky, Carl, and Steve, with Ray keeping score. I liked that game- I almost won. After that, I played SkyJo with Charity and Anna, and Becky. That was a lot of fun, and we had a good time playing together. We played almost every night because it was a simple yet challenging game.
Friday: We were *surprise* roofing again. It was our crew’s first time there, but other groups had been tearing off shingles and prepping it for a new roof. We laid on the peel-and-stick leak guard, nailed on some shingles on the newly laid leak stuff, and I helped tear up shingles and flashing on one of the sides. That was a bit difficult because there was a pipe with an electrical wire running to it, so I couldn’t touch it. We had to get the shingles from around it, which doesn’t sound hard, but the roof was at an angle, the wires were at an angle, and it was at the very edge of the roof. We left around noon and headed back to the base with the rest of the northern PA group. Becky and Max and I mopped and tidied the dining hall and hallway in the church. We packed up, and left around 3:00.
This is the group of people who were volunteering that week. I liked getting to know people better on the trip, and I feel like we have a better connection because we’ve worked together and played together, even survived an 18-hour car trip together.
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film: the grainy, the blurry, and the straight-up beauty
A new-ish hobby of mine is film photography, specifically, black and white film photography. I got film for Christmas (thanks, Daniel!) and jumped headlong into it with just a basic knowledge of photography – aka I know just enough to be dangerous – and an enthusiastic desire to capture people and things in my life as they are- not posed or primped, just authentic. I’m using a Yashica 35 mm, which I named Claire because it’s latin orgins mean “clear” or “bright.” My brother Nathaniel, who is a great film photographer, gave me a crash course in the finer details of film which was really helpful. I got my first roll of film back a few days ago, and I’m excited to share them with you. Film photography has a steep learning curve, so most of these pictures are a bit cluttered, grainy, or out of focus (or all three!). At first, I was only going to post the better ones, but after some thought, I decided to show them all. Life isn’t all perfectly composed, in focus, and Instagram ready, and neither are my photos. I still love them all though, because they are a part of my life, moments I’ve experienced, etc. I can show how far I’ve come if I show from whence I came. Now, after that bit of deep, philosophical intro, let’s get to some pictures!
I love this one, mostly because of the vintage vibe it has. Think WWII soldiers standing by a fence with their moms- that’s the vibe I get, partly because of the graininess.
AnnaKate and our niece, E. We went on a walk to a park- perfect for taking photos!
One of my favorites! This is AnnaKate as she usually is, smiling, and wearing her pink adidas sweatshirt.
This is apparently what happens when you tell your niece to smile- she goes from smiling to whatever this is. It’s still cute though!
My brother took this one. There’s another one below where we are actually looking, haha!
I really like this one of my mama. I should’ve moved a little bit so the picnic tables weren’t in the back, but oh well.
Hey, we’re looking!
This is my brother Nathaniel, the resident film photography expert.
This is his dog, Margo, who is just a giant fluffy sweetheart.
My mama again!
I should’ve moved a tad closer, I think. But hey, Margo is looking!
Ella and her blue raspberry slushie from McDonald’s.
One of my other neices, A, who is also not super thrilled with trivial things such as looking at cameras when told to smile. She’s so cute though!
She looks like she’s focusing super hard on doing a yoga position of something, lol.
It’s a bit overexposed, but I still really like the lighting in this one. My favorite kitty and a very sweet neie on a sunny day- perfect! I wish that Millie (cat) would’ve looked though.
AYYYY he’s so sweet! This is my oldest nephew, C. (His sibs are A and L, as well as S who isn’t in these pictures…) This was one of the few posed pictures, I asked him to sit and the sunny spot and smile. Sadly, I didn’t focus well. At least you can still tell that he’s smiling!
This is L, putting a puzzle together amidst floor renovations. (Hence the clutter.)
C and A playing with playdo, a favorite activity of theirs. And it’s even by lovely sunny windows.
She is so intent on cutting the playdo- this is one of my favorites of her from this roll. The little flyaway hair is adorable, haha.
“cheeeeeeseeeeee!”
C again, I like it, I think the part of him looking away is interesting.
Classic L- a little spunky! He was more than willing to smile – and do this face- for the camera.
Awww, so sweet!
My dad working on the floor- I like the window shadow.
Ta-da! There’s the first roll of film from 2023 (well, that turned out. The first one didn’t because it wasn’t a good roll…). What was your favorite? Do you do any photography? Do you have neices and nephews? Let’s chat!
p.s. thanks to my followers- I just got to 50!
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My Month In Review || January
Hello friends, and welcome to a review of January. I was thinking that this was going to be a boring post because not a lot happened, but as I was looking at the calendar, a bunch of things did happen. In essence, January was very slow, but also flew by.
What I Did…
- I got a perm, which was interesting! I’m not going to go into detail because I already wrote about it here.
- I got a manicure with my mom and sisters, which was fun!
- I embroidered on a denim jacket I have, and I like the way it turned out.
- I did a pottery clss with my mom, and we made mugs with designs on them. It was the first time I had done pottery, and I enjoyed it.
- I redesigned PoppySeeds, and I’m super happy with it! The menu, logo, color, and fonts are all updated.
- we went to visit my brother and his family and it was super fun! We got tacos (delicious!) watched movies, and went to a playground, which was really fun.
- I started getting into film photography. My brother taught me some stuff while we were visiting, and I learned some new tips and tricks.
- I started rollerblading- a slightly dangerous hobby, but fun nonetheless!
What I Read…
- Anne’s House Of Dreams– I cannot get enough of this series. I have read this book so many times, and I never get tired of it. I also read a few others in the Anne Of Green Gables series.
- The Responsibility of Ruffles– This is a light, fluffy, mostly plotless book. But I still like it. It was published in 1913, and it’s about a family and their friends on vacation. It’s sweet, charming, and an entertaining read.
- Maggie and The Dead Don’t Dance– This is a series by Charles Martin, and it’s SO GOOD, yet really sad. It’s well-written and has a great plot line.
What I Listened To…
- Tell Ya Later– a podcast started by Will Ryan and Katie Leigh, and now hosted by Katie Leigh. It’s an interesting and fun podcast. She has a lot of guests come on, mostly in the voiceacting and entertainment world.
- The soundtrack from A Week Away– the remix of Baby Baby and Dive are my personal favorites!
- Heart In Motion album by Amy Grant
- Signs Of Life album by Stephen Curtis Chapman
- Geoff Moore & The Distance Greatest Hits
Goals for February:
- Go to a college visit! That will be later in the month, and I’m really excited!
- Celebrate Valentines Day- I have a few ideas for super fun valentines for my family…more on that later!
- Go Running 2x a week
- Blog at least once a week
- Get some of my film developed
- Drink more water
- Read Adventures in Oddity, and there are a few other books I want to get from the library.
Random Things to Celebrate In February:
- World Hippopotamus Day on the 15
- National Tater Tot Day on the 2
- National Umbrella Day on the 10
- National Strawberry Day on the 27 (I wonder why that’s not in say, June, when there’s actually strawberries growing?)
- National White Shirt Day on the 11
That’s it for now! What did you do last month, and what are you looking forward to this month? I’d love to chat in the comments!
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On Getting Back Up Again
This year, I’ve started running. I do a triathlon with my sisters every year, and this year it requires that I run 3.54 miles in a timely manner. But here’s the thing. I don’t like running, specifically, the difficulty in building up muscle and gaining strength. And the pain. And the feeling of wheezing in cold air when it feels like my lungs collapsed 5 minutes ago.
There are all sorts of people out there who rave about the “runner’s high,” and the joy and serenity they get from running into the sunset, spreading their arms out, and closing their eyes as they breathe deeply in the fresh mountain air, the golden glow of the sun highlighting their photogenic running silhouette. Not me. I just hit the wall, over and over and over. And jog like a grandma, while my face gets all sweaty and red and I try really hard not to cry tears of agony. My breathing sounds like a mix between a whistle and a freight train as I breathe in cold, damp air that smells like the creek. It’s cloudy, so I’m not even photogenically silhouetted by the sunset.
So why should I keep doing it? Keep hitting (more like slamming into) the wall when I really want to quit and go home?
I’ve started rollerblading, too. It requires balance, agility, and general determination. And high-quality kneepads. “It’s just like ice skating,” I’ve heard. Well. I can’t ice skate. And I’m not wearing huge snow pants and a giant fluffy coat.
It’s hard to keep my balance, push off, and stop without running into someone or faceplanting. It hurts to fall, even onto the cushioned kneepads and wrist braces. It’s frustrating to be sailing along smoothly one second, exuberantly belting out “Alexander Hamilton,” then flailing like a windmill the next as I desperately try to avoid the pebbles that menacingly dot the pavement, slamming my foot painfully into the icy hard ground. It’s a good thing I can balance well and have quick reflexes. If I couldn’t, I envision mangled knees and bruised faces. I should probably wear a helmet, except it ruins my perm. That sounds stupid to type, my head is more important than a perm. I’ll wear a helmet next time.
It hurts to fall, and I don’t like it. I want to be in control, like when I’m on my bike. I can break down the wall with a vengeance as I push up the hill, then fly down the other side with enthusiastic glee highlighting my windswept face. What’s the difference? I’d rather bike than run, rather avoid all that pain and the ugly crying that happens as I run about town hating myself for being cheap with running shoes. I forget last summer when I hated to bike. I forget all the ugly crying up hills, wincing over sore muscles after riding 5 miles, and sweat plastering my hair to my head in a sticky tangled mess.
There are all sorts of quotes about how getting back up is more important than falling, no matter what you do everything will be pie in the sky just so long as you get back up. But there’s more to it than that. There’s got to be a reason why you get up. If I didn’t have a reason, I’d probably be laying on my back on the sidewalk pondering the shape of the clouds and how long I could stay here without getting hypothermia. Actually, I’d probably be at home, watching yet another Studio C sketch or reading a book on the couch.
At the end of the day, I run because I want to run well for my sisters. I want to run well just to say I did it. I want to run a 6-minute mile just to say I can. I want to run all the way up the hill, full speed just so I don’t have to say I walked up a hill. I want to run without feeling like I have a collapsed lung.
20 minutes after my run, I’ve forgotten my pain, my ranting and berating myself, the wheezing inhales and tornado-esque exhales. I’m proud of myself. I did it. I ran 2 miles with my sister, in 22 minutes. I ran all the way to the top of the hill. I didn’t cry. My side hurt, but I kept breathing, heck, I’m even alive. Baby steps. It’s hard learning to breathe. To walk. To run. To rollerblade.
But I’m doing it. One breath, one step, one minute, one mile, one run at a time. I’m falling, slamming into the wall, getting back up and running again. Wash, rinse, repeat. I’m going to keep falling, then getting back up. and by the end of summer, I’ll forget all the hard parts, and be able to run.
Fall, walk, run. Bring it on.
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PoppySeeds 2.0!
It’s official, poppyseeds is updated, with a new color scheme, menu, format and font. I even have a new blog button!
If you don’t mind updating your blog button page, here’s the new one! If you want to exchange blog buttons, let me know. Check out the rest of the site at poppyseeds1720.wordpress.com. What do you think?
poppyseeds 